Monday, December 19, 2005

January Calling

Tuesday, December 20, 2005
12:04:07 AM

I am so sick of condoning the mindless, ruthless, frivolous bantering…it’s strange how people interact when a certain level of frolicking thresholds and time limits are crossed…even myself!

Osiris intervention, I gather…

Meanwhile, I am deeply moved (honest…) by the burgeoning bard…carry on, my wannabe girl


But I doubt whether CD really comprehended the real meaning lurking behind those poetically challenged phrases…Hats off to the bard, once again…may Homer shine upon you…

I am now soothing my olfactory with Morrison (not Van) and Dylan (not Thomas) and Baez…so the jazzy buffoon can no longer keep my mind engaged with the crass ramblings of his pulverized, xenophobic cerebrum.

I wish I survive my trip and remain in one piece, scuttling and skating through my deltaic land, endangered by bombs and walking, talking, human mines, till I get my copy of McRae’s creepy, chilled, voluptuous music…and The Doors live videos…that too…

This will probably be my last post for this year…and I resolute upon making a new blog next year, with more verve and enthusiasm…and this time I promise to upload images to get rid of any residual bleakness forever…

To people who love me and hate me, and those who know me and do not know me, plus those who would comment and not comment on my posts:

Merry Christmas and A Joyful New Year!

P.s. Loony, I will try to get u a sketchbook like mine…do u want a bigger size???

Evening At The Fulcrum

Sunday, December 18, 2005
11:14:02 PM

They strolled along the woods with hands around each other’s waists, exchanging warmth, each step conjuring up romance, longing, and fear of the next step.

Left, right, left, right, left…

“How come we still keep pace with each other?”, he asked.

“No, no, no…this makes no sense…we keep pace with anybody we walk with…this is no magic…”, she answered, pulling him hard out of the deeply rooted illusion.

She pointed at the navy blue sky surmising the stars from the planets…

“Betelguese…Bellatrix…(ouch!)”, falling off ineptly as her feet met the uneven ground with friction and doubt. He held her firmly and resumed the consonance of their fateful steps.

“Mars and Venus…”, she concluded, as he pecked a swift kiss on her forehead.

The advent of dire consequences foreboding, the resplendent constellations rhapsodizing, she allowed the zephyr to alleviate any discordant thoughts. The tryst was about to end and they would soon be lost in their vapid worlds.

They have run out of soliloquies, confounded by the conundrum of surprise…There was no need to cogitate further; the end was about to emancipate from its diffidence…

The forlorn minds lingered along through the harrowing moments. The future was fraught with mist and the present was too abstruse…only the past remained diligently fluent and blissfully sanguine. Serendipity was fading away from their interface…lights no longer went off as they passed across light bulbs…not anymore.

“When can I see you again?”, she asked.

He was crestfallen, craven, debilitated to the size of raisins…He wanted to lament with music, lament with pain, anger and contempt…but it was too late…or too early, perhaps…She smiled at him with unknown foolishness, and they strolled along incessantly…

Thursday, December 15, 2005


Wednesday, December 14, 2005
8:48:38 PM

What a day, man! (“Do you know the transistor, man?”) The otherwise mute, motionless librarian of our viscous Computer Centre suddenly got busy having animated conversations with my mom…finding nothing else, he complained about me not taking any book from the center!!! IS THERE A PROBLEM IF I OWN THE BOOKS AND NOT HAVE TO VISIT THE LIBRARY??? I mean I know I am poor, but is it sacrilege if I say I own my textbooks? Anyway, apparently I am being exploited by my present friends’ circle, according to our HOD…In fact, when my shoes got torn, Fubu gave away his shoes to me so I would be on someone else’s shoes and get exploited in the process…

And what’s this business about my day out??? I mean is it new that I have a day-out-story to tell??? Isn’t it dull already?

Our HOD also emphasized that my mind remains somewhere else in class…as if he can tell…If I were to show that I am concentrating and in reality I don’t give a damn, he would never get to know about it…If I had anything to hide, I would hide it with expertise and art…On top of all that, my shoes got torn halfway to Fubu’s house… and it looked like a crocodile opening and closing its mouth simultaneously as I was walking… guess who saw us while we were at the underground Metro…HOD of course…

Lunatic interventions of the full moon…or maybe a real life Airplane – Sequel II.

And oh, I lost my mother’s Floppy on the way somewhere…it fell off from my pocket probably…The only things good about today were Fubu’s wonderfully disheveled hair, the disheveled pictures shot by Anchoo, a lovely shot of myself taken by papa paddy, food offered by Fubu and his mother, Fubu’s den, FRIENDS season 10 episode, and the meatwhore musical connotations…even all that were part of the exploitation by G’s gang!

P.S. And my socks were stinking!!!


Wednesday, December 14, 2005
1:02:41 AM

“If you miss this train I warn
You will know that I have gone
You can hear the whistle blow
A hundred miles………………..”

I never knew my college had so much beauty hidden in its enclosure… this blend of déjà vu: the Dirty fella’s choir music and the little guy almost resembling an elf by the moonlight, the light just beside shadowy corners and the winter…the non-existent Giant… leaving me more eve-struck than moonstruck…Moonstruck has a bit different mushy kind of meaning in the Oxford Dictionary, which I don’t intend to refer to…

Have I come such a long way for this, and this alone??? I must keep walking, though, like Johnny Walker (I know that’s a very bad pj, but couldn’t help it)… this can’t be all…

I pretend that I am 500 miles away from home… “Is it that far???” Well, it’s so far that it’s pointless to even estimate… Do I have a home anyway?

No, no, no…I don’t mean I want a family…hell, no…I just need a place to call my own…with no one to dictate, no one to advise, no one to roll their eyes and no one to order me around…so I can sketch, sing, or just read a book whenever I want to, without any interruption…or simply write…or just delve into motionless activity of the mind – think!

I wish they didn’t linger their talk about Ayn Rand at such lengths…it was frustrating, and didn’t keep pace with the cadence all over the field and the sky… I wish they could talk of how Dirty looked so bright… I wish there was a stormy Caribbean sea just outside the back-gate, so our Dirty could deal with the pirates with exquisitely flowery usage of English… I wish the moon would really magnetize the poor guy who rocks and would take him away with a large spider-web so I didn’t have to live with his never-ending urgency to be absolutely right about anything and everything…It’s so annoying that it can put you back to senses and ready for an argument even if you are high on LSD…you could even get annoyed right at your deathbed… Death can wait so long as there is an argument to continue…

Argument makes death nervous…

I know there’s someone not too far who would interpret all of this as a reflection of my sadness deep inside (no ‘sad’ implications puhleez, no pun intended)…but trust me I am happy and privileged…than many others starved of Life and Twists and Surprises…Surprise always brings happiness, even if it’s inside a packet of sadness…
Delacroix’s portrait is looking good…there’s not a man like that in college so I can pass my time staring at…and really be moonstruck, with all implications of the word in the big fat Oxford Dictionary…

Monday, December 12, 2005

Rumours in the air...Riders on the storm...

Monday, December 12, 2005
9:56:41 PM

Today I have heard the most brilliant thing ever…it’s like a dream come true…Sam just suggested me that we don’t need to have a net connection to be online…that it’s simply possible to be online if I have a PC…huh, this is something I used to always daydream and also dream in sleep years back in my lovely city…Like every computer has a mind of its own and is connected to every other computer in the city…

Strange things are happening all around…people are at cross-purposes, messages are going astray, in the midst of which some messages manage to hit the bull’s eye…A commotion of emotions all around…Eyes wandering, philandering, dripping, wringing, empathizing, or maybe just checking! Some eyes are lovely in their own right, but can’t wait after the veg food is offered…and also manages to be ruthless to jokes thrown at him quite harmlessly and without any evil intentions. I was only asking him to look through the works of Delacroix, with a pinch of salt that seemed to hit him so hard, I couldn’t imagine…otherwise I wouldn’t have asked…

My so-called seductive voice failed to seduce the microphone once more, and I am just consoled by Mirinda and the same old Monginis food…I think I am burping and smelling of Monginis even now… Some people are outright felicitous that I screwed up the song… The one devilish woman in black… Don’t know how she will contain and savourrrr the pleasurrrrre of my failurrrrre… She was even trying to “jest at my scars” in vain…poor bitch!

Feelings From The Crypt - II

Monday, December 12, 2005
1:28:51 AM

Right, here we are…in the middle of acres and acres of barren, abandoned land…stretching far and wide on both sides of the interminable highway…no traffic, no lights, zero warmth…I look at his eyes…he doesn’t want me here…or may be, he does…I can’t tell, without any lights…A sudden beam glows up in his eyes, telling me “Here we are”.

“Where are we, Dark Lord?
Pretty damsel, strike a chord!
Hello, ain’t we bored?
Will the rain be poured?
Don’t you make me real
There’s no time to feel
Come on, give me a chill
Make me a nice red pill”

The black sky started where the crops let out their last bit of inflorescence, as though a thick curtain lifted only halfway, and the stage-man controlling the strings have collapsed for no reason and forgot to pull them further… and the fog, as though the dry ice have just been sprayed by somebody back-stage.

The swift breeze swept away his otherwise settled hair. He has no clue how we got there. We were in some busy office floor in a conference room, sipping through coffee…and now, we are in the middle of nowhere. Whichever way we run, desolation welcomes us with open arms… I see myself standing in front of a sign… it has its arrow in a weird direction…up…

The label looks foolish and incomprehensible:


How can the upward direction be full? How can upward be fool? Is there a fool hovering up above??? Doesn’t make any sense…I look at him and there’s a sudden spark all over his face…He thrusts his left hand towards me…the watch at his wrist has stopped functioning…Hell no, the time hasn’t stopped… the crops are still swaying back and forth with the breeze…time has not stopped for good…

I am fighting hard to get out of this stagnancy, but Neo is nowhere in sight. “Time flies by like an arrow and fruit flies like banana”.

I can see him now laughing like a lunatic, without ever stopping for an after-laugh…

Thursday, December 08, 2005


Wednesday, December 07, 2005
7:58:05 PM

“People are strange
When you’re a stranger
Faces look ugly
When you’re alone.
Women seem wicked
When you’re unwanted…”
- The Doors

Have you ever seen anyone trying and working on being superficial? I have seen one and trust me, once you have had enough of that, you won’t mind spending protracted hours with the sea horse…oh, lovely lady, this sea horse… she has a fairly high need-for-affiliation, which is far, far better to connect with than to try and act nice to any superficiality thrown at your direction. At least, this lovely sea-horse lady is REAL and spontaneous about herself breathing with the camouflaged gills on her head…

And I also know this person whose sensual feelings are centered on the head, pretty amazing, innit? She needs to hide it with a Reebok ski-cap. Amazing lady… I idolize her. She is bored by the winter, even if she finds her winter clothes interesting. She is crazy about singing in public, although she keeps herself at bay at all times, so as not to look stupid. She loves Kati Roll, and loves Joan Baez without ever owning a single record by Baez, just cos’ she had been Dylan’s companion. She has a hard time concealing her eccentricity…That’s just about all I can say for now…There was more…so much more that it would be prosaic to mention it here at this moment…

SIMON SINGH: Knight of Wands (Consult Tarot deck, not Harry Potter!)

Monday, December 05, 2005
11:55:43 PM

Simply umazeeng! This fellow, Dr. Singh…I half expected this man to be coming with a turban and looking old and all, and what I see is a cool guy with chhimply umajing hair! I think it’s more of a statement that papajis can be absolutely eccentric and replace their turban with anything else, if they wanted…but anyway, never mind…His communication skills are unparallel, compared to whatever we encounter here…I don’t think I would be able to attend any college lectures after this. I have never seen a man as confident as him…of course, there are many in this world, but it’s just that I haven’t met…He just knows his thing so well…He didn’t scribble esoteric equations, which was such a relief…But poor Simon, some aged “spherical b*******” pestered him with stupid questions like “Is microwave radiation coming from space harmful?” after he was talking of evidence for The Big Bang theory. The first, last and middle part of his lecture were all so interesting and fascinating…the way he put it…I have never seen anybody so consistently humorous…and so consistently intelligent…His was a musical, humorous, substantial, brief, terse lecture…very neat and well controlled…the frequently ringing cell phones made no effect at all…And he said he couldn’t argue with me! That really will make my day every day for the rest of this month…I am phlatarred!!!

The coffee was perfect, though I spilled my second cup in the whole excitement…


Saturday, December 03, 2005
9:02:43 PM

I had this strangest dream ever. I saw myself walking into a garden in the evening…the lighting was very soft and in the night sky I could see figures and holographic screens like as we see in planetariums. The garden had a feel of Alice in Wonderland and Finding Neverland. Suddenly I see a picture and recognize it as Picasso’s Guernica…it had very vague resemblances to the painting itself…There were other people I don’t know confirming me about the fact that it was Guernica indeed, in the dream. I left the place, and when I came back again I saw an owl flying in the garden, but only now that the garden had a little pond over which the owl was flying. Suddenly I see that it’s not a real owl, but a puppet whose strings are maneuvered by some 4/5 struggling grown people standing up on a large, leafy tree.

I did see other stuff in the dream but I don’t remember anything now…

Pretty “atel” …

But much better than the so-called movie I was forced to watch at a friend’s place which had nothing but still shots…seemed like an ‘atel’ remix music video footage to me…or correctly put, the pictures seemed like the video supporting the music in the background, and not vice versa.

The voice-over was surely inspired by the “Amaron-lasts-long-really-long-ting-tong” ad.

Girl, Interrupted

Friday, December 02, 2005
9:59:11 PM

I can never practice anything, or do my own thing in the vicinity of my mom. Period.


Thursday, December 01, 2005
8:43:36 PM

I don’t know if I should really call it serendipity or not, but I guess there’s no other word for it…I happen to be gifted with the opportunity to notice a single sign many times in different situations and places, simultaneously.

First, it used to be any random, catchy words…I used to encounter them often after having it read for the first time. In a certain English Comprehension test in school long back, I couldn’t comprehend the meaning of “harlequin”. When the test was over, our teacher told us the meaning. And then, on my way back home by car, I spotted a new fast food restaurant that had just opened, named Harlequin! Next, I went home and as I was lazily flipping through the pages of a children’s “People & Places” mini encyclopedia, I found Harlequin again, this time with a picture as well…

Sometimes, my dreams are also linked with such activities…I had a dream two years back about a desert where I was stranded with my friend Fatty, having delicious Lebanese food nearby an oasis…A few days after dreaming that, I accidentally got hold of this book “Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and it talked of deserts mostly and the main character happened to meet a girl named by the same name as my friend in the dream, near an oasis…In the book, there was also mention of the place Tangier. When I finished reading that book, I just happened to listen to one of tracks of “Blood On The Tracks” by Bob Dylan for the first time, where he happened to be singing the lines:
“If you see her, say hello
She might be in Tangier…”

There, I see a fine thread going along the words desert, Fatty and Tangier…

Again, very recently I was reading Harry Potter, where I was reading a certain chapter called “The Deathday Party”, and on the same day I got to know that a friend’s grandma has passed away. The very next day I go online and find out that another friend’s father has passed away too. He was suffering from Parkinson’s disease.

Should I call this serendipity?