Monday, February 27, 2006

ANONIMITY

Tuesday, February 14, 2006
8:46:06 PM

Anonymity is a good thing…it makes one guess a while…and the moment you think you know this person, that very moment you begin to doubt that it’s someone else…and the funniest part is, u become absolutely independent of social stereotyping…

Whenever we know it’s a girl or a guy writing, our brain automatically blinds us with some preconceived notions…it’s pretty complicated and interesting…but dear Mr. Anonymous…ahhem…arrrm…Ms Anonymous (no other connotations hidden here), you seem to be keen on kicking me out from your country…don’t worry, there are plenty of able and devoted citizens out here literally kicking me hard reminding me that I actually don’t belong here…and that I am simply a guest…so I should limit myself to the boundaries of guest-hood…

“I am living in a foreign country
But I am bound to cross the line”
- Bob Dylan

It feels a bit weird being a guest, cos’ you know your host will whisper separately with other members of the family about what food to offer…

There are also other interesting ways people treat me here as a guest. Some of them think for no apparent reason or incident that I am a big attention-seeker…well who isn’t? But on the contrary, I am not really a person who would feel comfortable with a lot of attention…I just feel better if I can be with a small close knit of friends, which seems to be a bit difficult here except for a few exceptions…I believe in intimate close friendships and it gets a bit hard for me to maintain light passing companionship with too many people…I am not too social…I find it hard to believe if a ‘friend’ remarks rudely “nobody-wants-to-hear-you-here”…I mean what kind of a friend would say “nobody-wants-to-hear-your-story”…but this world is a strange place, perhaps such behavior is allowed in friendship…what can I say, may be I haven’t been able to come out of the cocoon of high school and I still live in the delusion that friends are…forget it, who cares anyway?

But really, what kind of a ‘friend’ would say such a thing?

“Good friends we have
For good friends we’ve lost
Along the way…”
- Bob Marley

I need to put a disclaimer right at this point about a previous post of mine:

I seriously don’t have anything against Indians as might have been wrongly portrayed in my earlier post “Indians…”. Things said in the post were simply repercussions of a chain of frivolous events that happened to revolve around my little yet disastrous world. It’s just that I have gone through immense pressure due to prejudices held against Bangladeshis by many people here who have subtly hurt me in various ways…I don’t feel like a guest here, I almost feel like an intruder. But I am not one of those intruders who are living here illegally like many others, which is why I have to go through extreme scrutinizing sessions and checking while I cross the border. I am asked for bribe both in the Indian and the Bangladeshi customs…see any difference between the two? Only that I am compelled to bribe the Indian customs for no apparent reason, I mean I don’t carry smuggling goods or anything, I barely have my money to survive; but I question a hell lot in the Bangladesh customs office, I don’t pay a single buck there even if I am held up…and I make sure to insult them as much as I can until I get their names down and threat them a bit and somehow finally step into my country…But then, I never hurt anyone here saying them how corrupted their government offices are, and likewise I don’t appreciate it if anyone hurts me by pointing out the faults of my country. I already know what our failings are…and nobody likes to suffer from prejudices held against them…

My point was not about how well anyone can speak or write in English…that’s bullshit and outright hilarious, at least at a cosmic level…I just meant to put forth an instance of how Indians (not every Indian though) feel unwarranted prejudices against Bangladeshis…and generally think very low of us…when we are only neighbors and barely have enough differences between us…

When I was in school some communal elements used to tease me by saying that I am Indian…that my home is in India and not in Bangladesh…that being a Hindu by birth entitles me to be in India…but I had so many other good friends who outnumbered those communal elements…and now that I am having to incidentally live here in India, I feel like an intruder…I like to put this in true Shah Rukh Khan fashion, “Arey hum tho kahika nahi raha”…well excuse my Hindi grammar…I pray you all not to judge all the people of a nation by their government…look deeper, you will find more things in common than differences…It’s interesting how I defended India whenever anyone wrongly said anything bad about anything here, and now that I am here, I am having to face all these misconceptions about my own country, that have sown the seeds of prejudices in some of the people of India…incredibly ironic…who am I defending anyway???

Maybe I am a cause-hungry person, never mind the effect…

7 comments:

The Absolutist said...

close friends are not only very hard to find they are not very advisable either, it requires an extremely open mind, immense adaptibility and unconditional trust, neither of which is easily available. this is not a personal opinion, its an advice...

a-list said...

friendship is soooo over-rated..i recommend talkin' to walls...that shit is wayy better than any friend could ever be!

Delphic Oracle said...

yeah, talking to a wall is so much better sometimes...and after all, one can't afford to be The Cable Guy!!!

images said...

in my experience no friendship has lasted till date, they have all fizzled out. so, enjoy life the way it is today, and move on. and in a way absolutist is correct, be very careful of close friends, they can be worse than enemies. and a-list is just stupid, walls?! thats what losers and loners talk to. just relax, take life easy.

a-list said...

haha...to each his own...

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