CALLING HELL

Monday, November 21, 2005
7:55:32 PM
Why am I doing this to myself? Why? Making a fool out of myself, dammit. I shouldn’t have sung the song, really, when I don’t stand a chance…Anyway, what’s over is over. It’s always fine to look forward: the perfect mantra of this Aquarian Age.

Something threatening has come up. Was the dream I had about Mars a premonition of this threat? Mars in Aries stands for everything drastic, like as in travel and change…Anyway, I am not surprised. Disappointed, yes. But not surprised. I am seasoned over the years.

I am a really bad singer. I can sketch just okay, I guess. I can’t play the guitar, piano, cello, drums etc. I remember being good at mouth organ, but I lost it. It was a long maroon-red one. I know where it is, but access denied.

Oh yes, I never knew the spelling of planchette until today (although I don’t know why the MS spell check is still making a red underline underneath the apparently right spelling…u wouldn’t notice that in this blog…since I am typing in Word and guess what, the spell check has also put a red underline under the word ‘blog’!). Something’s wrong with my pc, really, files are getting corrupted out of the blue. Some virus maybe, even AVG couldn’t detect. It’s fine now, though a while ago weird things were happening. I guess my pc goes berserk once in a while just like me. I am still high on the Cosmic Plane. Don’t know what the hell that means…

I might lose my place again…and I am numb about it, cos there’s nothing left to do. I don’t want to end up in Malaysia please, although I know it’s a nice place. Canada is even better. But what the hell…I always wanted to study abroad. Always. Still do. But what the hell…
I never knew I was so weak at heart. Very close friends of mine revere me as being strong, intelligent, artistic, witty, tubelight, stupid and vulnerable, all at the same time. Hell knows what that means…