THREE DOGS

The strangest thing happened to me today...I just finished my dinner when I happened to be at my balcony when I saw a dog eagerly staring at me from the street...I motioned it to go away, just like that...but it stared at me with watery eyes...I thought it was hungry and needed food. I went inside to get my leftover rice and went back only to find him sitting and wagging his tail....I quickly poured the rice in a cellophane packet and keeping it open dropped it down. The dog immediately went near it, sniffed and then walked in another direction and stopped as if looking for someone, another dog perhaps...saw left and right and went away without giving me any further glance...I didn't even exist for the dog...then after a while another dog came, this one thinner...went straight to my dropped food, sniffed and then peed on it and left! I was so bewildered! then after a while a third, blackish, limping, oldish dog came over, sniffed and then peed like the second dog and left...HOLY BELGIUM! i mean, really, the food I eat even a dog wouldn't! Is that what it meant? Or was it something very personal amongst the dogs like some underground activity...for UNDERdogs...LOL...See, this is why I never like dogs...or anything that can be made into a pet...they are strange and they pee in the wrong place!

STALKERS BURN IN PLASMA MOCKTAIL!!!

I have lived the most important years of my life in Kolkata...and now I just can't live the life of a criminal anymore...criminal indeed...i need to report to FRO section every time I enter and leave India. And every time I get a new Visa, I need to make a new RP (Residential Permit)...which is not a very happy job. Involves a lot of photocopying, drafting and shit work. Meaningless and in no way of any use...It's for the State of India to feel proud of exercising power. Only the extent of power they exercise varies from place to place.

The Bengal Police had been very generous and kind as to the papers to be submitted for RP...but this Kolkata Police thinks they can find the rabbit hole where I, Alice, came in through...only if they had the imagination...I am in my third year of this course and in my last semester and the officer asks me there is no proof that I am a Bangladeshi student, despite my passport photocopy, and my Bangladesh address in both Sponsorship Certificate AND my college ID card...am sure you don't understand what I am trying to say by all these jargons....neither do I...and let's say I don't want to...I have had enough...

He (Dennis -The Menace as I call), has the whim to ask me whether I know the difference between submission and inquiry...i mean, why should I? why should I have to produce the sponsor's electric bill as address proof when I have the telephone bill to provide? I mean, isn't the telephone bill also considered as a valid governmental proof of address? He wants my sponsor's Voter ID card, AND his PAN card...let's say his whole point is to discourage my sponsor to sponsor me....and how ridiculous, that if a Bangladeshi student doesn't know anyone or can't convince anyone to sponsor him/her, then he/she simply wont be able to stay here for education purpose...is that fair? does that in any way stop infiltration, and illegal migration or even terrorist acts across the border? IT DOESN'T!

But had I not been suffering like this, I really would have pitied all the OC/RP's and DIB officers for having to work in an office that literally reeks of urine excreted in the leaking lavatories by themselves...What you inhale there, is all you can deliver...he inhales urine and delivers more excreta of the State itself...i say he, since most of the officers there are male...

Like Ginsberg, I would love to say to India (the State, I mean)

INDIA, I AM SICK OF YOUR INSANE DEMANDS!!!

When will you sell your eggs to America?

p.s. India, I wish I don't have to be a burden on you anymore...ever...I wish I never miss you...I wish I never have to love you again...or live in nostalgia for you...I am preparing myself to hate you...

Voice of Goddess...

Was listening to Plaisir D Amour by Joan Baez...and it just occurred that I have never noticed how the quality of her voice has direct visual feelings...

"you brought me heaven right then" is like a sharp shiny knife reflecting Cosmic rays

"when your eyes kissed mine" is like the same knife cutting through butter...

"my love loves me" - the knife shredding cheddar cheese...

"and all the wonders I see" - knife cutting the last bit

"of rainbow shines in my window" -knife cutting through soft fire...

"my love loves me" - the knife squeezing in a soft, spongy cottage cheese...

I guess she has a lovely knife in her throat...and not an adam's apple!

I wish I could grow a knife in mine too...

JINXED...

I lost my black bounded sketchbook. If you ever see her, get the pages scanned for me. And upload them on Facebook or any damn site provided you are on my friend's list. I wish there were enemy lists as well...but anyway, they come in the guise of friends...bleh!

I was just thinking a few days back to take photos of my work in that sketchbook...and now it's gone! I just can't believe I have lost it...I have never lost a sketchbook in my life!

On moving the towel...

Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahaa...
The rat ran through the rain
I stared with my purple umbrella
On the terrace
Drenching my towel blue
Twinkle lights on the mosque
Woh jo thha dard ka karaar, kaha?
Wringing the towel, still no drops
But it's ripe with river
Aankh ki ek gaaon mein raatko khwab atethhe
Tak, take, taking it to the shade
Enough of the pangs of river!
Woh jo bahetethhe abshar kahaa???
What happens to those towels
Whose masters sleep asnore
When it rains at midnight
Urte khwabon ka aetbar kahaa...?

shoestrings...

I wish not to write...
For these are not the cruel flowers of April...

Feelings from the Crypt: Revisited...

(painting courtesy: Ruben Monakhov http://rubenm.spb.ru/)

I'm still with my caravan

Wishing you a bundle of joy

That clove sweet cigarrette

Left my lips rather coy

There the shipyard, ahoy!

And the crescent moon

Will be clouded soon

That ney flute playing in my mind

Have left the waves go blind

As they blindly roll over the steps...

Step by step

Tune by tune

I must perish

For these are the cruel flowers of April...

Spreading poison smell till May

While I paint my nails white

Let me sleep now

I shall wake up on Monday...

I see the light come shining...and I shall be released!!!

Image Courtesy: Santhosh Pai aka Sanpaiya

Is it art when men lie and compartmentalise their conscience???

Then it's definitely art to march into the unknown...cos' the unknown can't offer worse than the known...

Truth always brings happiness...in this day and age where nothing costs or hurts more than truth, I embrace truth...for it shall always remain with me and my people around me...

Amen...

be a rebel!

be a rebel!

Posted using ShareThis

mera naam johnnie

mera naam johnnie

Posted using ShareThis

In hateful memory of an Encountered Comrade

I wanted you dead, but
Never on the hands of our commonest enemies...
I would have savoured you alive and wounded
In the mind, not the flesh...
Just as you might think I am one of them
I too feel you are one of them
You conspired with the State
To take my Love away...
I hated you
With the last turn of the silencer
You have become the immortal martyr
Am listening to Raag Tori by Kumar Gandharva
I dont believe there are only three kinds of people
Like you.
He likes you. Perhaps loves even.
You didn't have to defeat me like this
But that you did
I shall gallop along now
You can haunt me and make him love you
Does death make one better?
Even if it does, do I quiver?
But I wanted you dead
Never on the hands of the State
Or of mine...